And even when I try to silence my brain to give it a break, I can’t stop the ever flowing thoughts. Because that’s how it works, right? So today I started thinking:
What’s one thing all spoonies hear almost every single day?
For me, it’s “I can’t imagine how you do that. I wouldn’t be able to handle that.”
Hearing this has become as familiar as hearing “how are you” or “good morning” for me. From strangers, friends, family, co-workers, and if my dog could speak probably from him too.
Most of the time I think “yep. It sucks.” But sometimes I think to myself: “You know what. That’s a compliment, and it’s very true.”
When they say “He wouldn’t put you through something you couldn’t handle.” I guess it’s actually true. Us spoonies were given our illnesses because we are strong enough to handle them. Do we still break down in absolute pain and misery? Well yeah, but who wouldn’t? But I look back at so many times of my life (final exams, competitive fastpitch softball games in the summer heat, driving an hour home at night, running the mile in high school, making it through a work day full of loud co-workers and staring at a computer screen) that I fully and willingly participated in while I had full blown migraines.
Do I think other people would be able to do the same had they been in my shoes? Some people, sure. Other people, no I don’t think so.
So during long migraine (or other chronic pain or illness) spells, while it’s very easy to wish you were someone else in a different body, I think it’s more effective to focus on how strong we truly are. Not many people could deal with this type of pain on a daily basis. Do I think I’m stronger than other people? In this situation, I do. And I’m proud of it.
It’s not bragging if it’s true, right?