A word I used to describe myself in the following way: majority of the time, I believe myself to be a genuinely cheerful, lively, and confident person. Proud of who I am and not afraid to show it in a positive way to those around me. ✌🏼️😊💃🏼 But then there are the times I force myself to appear this way. Where I fraudulently come off as jaunty, when behind closed doors my head is throbbing, my mind is racing, and my frustration is bubbling.
Even people who are truly happy, lively, bubbly, and confident can face hardships and times where even when they aren’t feeling jaunty on the inside, force themselves to show it on the outside to avoid questions/judgement from others, or just to make themselves feel better.
Spoonies know this to be true. Sometimes our disposition is organically happy and lively–representative of a version of ourselves we are proud to be. And sometimes behind our smiles is something we try never to show–physical and emotional pain we try so hard to battle against.