headaches · my story · spoonie

I Was Supposed To Be Healthy, Instead I Have A Chronic Illness

I was supposed to spend my college years carelessly moving on excitement, dreams and adrenaline…Instead I spent my college years dancing wildly and living an excited life only when my headaches allowed me to.

I was supposed to put my money towards seeing the world, paying off debt and buying every day necessities like a vacuum…Instead I’ve seen my money be handed to doctor after doctor and burying myself in even bigger debt due to all of the medical bills I have yet to pay off.

I was supposed to be a physically active young adult with living in the years where I would see my healthiest, most fit body…Instead I can’t exercise because of my throbbing head and instead see a body filled with insecurities and unrealistic expectations.

I was supposed to be partying while I’m young, out with my friends every weekend letting loose after a hard week at work…Instead, I still work hard every week but often find myself with heavy cases of FOMO laying on my couch looking at Snapchats of my friends out on a Friday night.

I was supposed to have a world of options and opportunities at my hand…Instead, I am limited to that which I am able to do without exhausting myself and putting myself in more pain than is already present.

I was supposed to live a life where I only got headaches due to hormones, stress, exhaustion, hunger or recovering from a night of partying…Instead I have a headache just sitting here typing this out, and when I do literally anything else.

However, the funny thing about the whole “I was supposed to thing,” is that none of us know what lies ahead. Life changes direction without warning all of the time. What we may one day have thought we were supposed to do or be, may be completely different than we think we are supposed to do or be the next day.

 

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