This chapter of the book “How to Live Well With Chronic Pain and Illness” is all about how sometimes we want something so badly that we let our happiness depend on it. For us “spoonies,” most of our wants are health related wants. Wanting a pain free day, wanting a cure, wanting to be able to be physically active, etc. The author describes the feeling of wanting something so badly that our happiness depends on it as the “Want Monster.”
When the “Want Monster” comes around, we convince ourselves that we will truly be happy once we get the thing we are so badly yearning for. For me, I often hear the “Want Monster” telling me that if I could back in time to when my chronic daily headaches weren’t a thing, then I would be happy again. That if I was healthy like my peers, then I would be fully happy. Here’s the problem with that outlook, though: I would still have my share of problems whether I’m healthy or not. Everyone has problems. Not everyone has health related problems, but everyone has them.
True happiness emerges from the acceptance that not everything in life will go our way. Happiness comes from us finding peace with the hand that we’ve been dealt.
I know that I would be happier in most situations if my chronic daily headaches and migraines disappeared forever, there’s no doubt about that. But, I know that I have found some truly great and happy times due to my health conditions. I’ve found amazing people and opportunities and have learned a lot about myself.
When the “Want Monster” tries to enter your life, push it away. Find peace with your life as it is currently, and then you will find a pure happiness.