#HAWMC Day 14: A Case of the Mondays

Pain. We all feel it. It could be short lasting or seemingly never-ending. We get hurt, we cry, we heal.

My pain is constant. The throbbing sometimes has mercy and I feel “fine.” Other times, it’s relentless and merciless. This past week has been a week of the relentless kind of pain.

On my good days, I go to bed with a headache and wake up with one, but on my good days I am not bothered by it because the pain is so minimal that I’m able to wake up with a smile. On my bad days I go to sleep with a 7/10 headache and wake up with a 7/10 headache, or worse. I’ve been having more bad days than good, lately. It’s extremely frustrating. It’s more frustrating than people can imagine. It’s so frustrating that sometimes, it’s all I can think about. I can be with my friends, and I’m thinking about how my pain is never-ending. I can be in church, and I’m dozing off to think about how my pain won’t let up. It occupies all of my mind and energy.

It bums me out when I have to cancel plans because I feel crappy. It bums me out even when I didn’t even have plans, but I know that I’ll be staying in even if I wanted to make plans. It bums me out to know that I’m no where near as healthy as my peers and even so, no where near as healthy as I, my chronically ill self, have felt before.

bummed-dog

It can be hard to go to sleep and tell yourself to begin the next day with an open and optimistic mind, when every day feels like the same broken record playing over and over again.

Even though it’s hard though, I try my best every single day to remind myself to have a better mindset. I remind myself to attempt to shut off my feelings of “but tomorrow I’ll probably feel awful again,” and instead try to turn on my feelings of “but tomorrow, what if I feel even just a little bit better.”

 

HAWMC Day 9: My Ideal Day

I wake up around 10 A.M., knowing that I don’t have any schedule to follow. With my eyes opening, there’s no pounding or throbbing in my head–only a refreshed and bright feeling. Being just close enough to the beach to smell the salty air, I know that after a quick breakfast and yoga session that is completed with no exertional headaches presenting themselves, that I can walk down to the sand where it meets the water and just relax for a few hours.

There is no aching, no yawning, and no throbbing allowed on the beach. Only reflection, good music and tan lines. A couple of close friends and loved ones trickle down and lay their towels next to mine, bringing some much wanted company to my presence.

After a few solid hours down by the ocean, it’s time to find something to eat. Pizza sounds awesome. Pizza always sounds awesome, actually. I eat and my head is not affected. There’s no increase in head pain, just an increase in food coma. And what’s a great pizza dinner without a refreshing strawberry margarita to go with it? And again, no increase in head pain as the margarita leaves the glass.

My day wraps up with one of two options, a night out with my friends dancing the night away and adding more margaritas to my tally, or a solid game night full of competition and margaritas. (Am I being too subtle about my love for margaritas?)

margarita

The entire day, I have experienced a 0/10 head pain day. No headaches. No frustration. No symptoms. Nothing. I feel nothing–something I haven’t been able to say for the past few years. There’s always been some kind of head pain–never a zero. But today, today it is a zero.

HAWMC Day 8: Little Engine Post

  1. I think I can find a combination of treatments that help drastically reduce my chronic headaches
  2. I think I can find an exercise routine that doesn’t drastically increase my exertional headaches
  3. I think I can eventually monetize off of my blog
  4. I think I can increase traffic to my blog each month that I continue to work on it
  5. I think I can bring together people who have similar health issues or similar battles and give them a positive, supportive place to turn
  6. I think I can lose those extra few pounds by turning my diet around and really eating well for my body
  7. I think I can increase my income through outside, freelance and side jobs, in order to help feel more comfortable with my finances
  8. I think I can motivate others to share their stories, as I am sharing mine
  9. I think I can improve my handlettering/handwriting skills
  10. I think I can eventually use Etsy to sell products with my handlettering/handwriting on them

  1. I know I can make a positive difference in the health activist community and grow as a health activist, myself.
  2. I know I can make a big ripple, even though I’m one single stone being thrown into the pond
  3. I know I can gather and maintain the strength, both physical and mental, to keep fighting my everyday pain with chronic daily headaches and migraines
  4. I know I can continue to grow The Headache Heroine into what I what it do be long term
  5. I know I can make a difference

HAWMC Day 5: Favorite Platform for Getting My Voice Out

I love utilizing every one of the platforms that I use to get my voice out there. I love Instagram because I’ve found that I can reach a lot more people than through the other platforms I use. I also love Instagram because I’m able to show my hand-lettered quotes and what not. I also think that pictures are more initially captivating than just a bunch of words. It gives people a quick glance at what you’re all about.

While I love to use Instagram for building my brand, I have a different platform preference for actually getting my voice heard. That platform is blogging on WordPress. By writing on a blog, while my reach not be as wide as it is on Instagram, I am able to write in much more detail and really write in the voice I want to. I’m able to share more information–holding nothing back. I have received really great feedback from people who have visited my blog saying that what I’m writing is really resonating with them and that the way that I write is unique and beautiful. I don’t share that to sound boastful, I share it to explain why blogging is my favorite platform for getting my voice heard.

What’s yours?

social-media

Image from Skyscanner Business

#HAWMC Day 4:Wishing For A Concrete Diagnosis.

This isn’t the answer you were hoping for or expecting. Well, the lack of answer, actually. You were hoping to hear a clear cut diagnosis so that you could then begin whatever treatment was available. But it’s not that simple. It won’t be that simple. Instead words like “new daily persistent headache,” “chronic daily headache,” and “chronic migraine” will be thrown at you. They’re all very similar but very different.

It’s going to be hard to find treatments that work for you. Your life will become to feel like a science experiment. But trust me, you need to keep on going. Give different treatments a chance so you can figure out what really will not work for you and your body and you can also discover things that can help you, even if it helps just a little bit.

It’s going to be an up and down roller coaster. You won’t be able to predict or control when the curves are coming or how shaky it’s going to get. What you can do, though, is control, is how you react to those curves and shakes.

Stay strong. Stay resilient. Your mental strength will waiver, your physical strength will at times feel imaginary, but you have the highest pain tolerance of anyone I know.

Even though you won’t be getting a concrete diagnosis, just remember, that you are taking steps forward in this journey of ours.